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Want to know if a guy likes you? When he basically wants to be with you but something stops him? Here are 15 top signs he's struggling with his feelings for you, why he's doing this, and what you should do. So let's start at the top. It's time to unveil it!
Why is he fighting his feelings for you?
So, before we look at the signs that he's fighting his feelings for you, let's first consider WHY he's fighting his feelings for you. What is the point?
Well, unless you or he is already in a relationship and therefore this is off-limits territory, it's kind of like why does he like you but he's hiding it.Click here to read our article about it.
It could be that he isn't ready for a relationship and doesn't want to confuse you. Maybe you've been there before and it didn't work. Or maybe you're just not sure where your head is and it'sfear of rejection.
You see, there are many different things that can contribute to this, and in turn affect your behavior.
But usually when he is fighting his feelings for you; when he makes a conscious effort NOT to fall in love with you; He probably associates some kind of pain with falling in love with you, so he tries to fight it.
"People will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure."
So maybe...
He is afraid of getting hurt, of opening his heart to you, and of not loving you.
Maybe you've had bad experiences in the past when you fell in love with people and you don't want the same thing to happen to you again.
This could have to do with cheating, unexpected departures, unrequited love, etc. The list is virtually endless. But usually it's something that causes you a lot of pain, only to have an extreme reaction like this afterwards.
In that sense, perhaps your education plays a role...
If you grew up in a turbulent family where your parents had rocky relationships, you may have caught up.limiting beliefs about lovefrom there.
These are hard to figure out, especially if you don't even fully recognize them. As a result, he may be struggling with his feelings for you without even realizing or understanding why.
What else, in general, if he isemotionally immatureor unable to handle emotions, he is more likely to fight his feelings for you. After all, love can be a pretty scary thing.
So there are many different things that could be causing this behavior.
Why is he fighting his feelings for you?
For some reason he thinks falling in love with you is a bad idea; Falling in love with someone is a bad idea (see, not something to take personally).
He considers it risky: he putsin a vulnerable position. And he is afraid that it will be bad. He is afraid of losing control.
The problem is, if you can understand why he is so worried and where this concern comes from, you can make him reveal his true feelings...
Signs He's Fighting His Feelings for You
So how do you know if he's struggling with his feelings for you? What are the main signs that he is struggling with his feelings for you? How is it likely to behave?
Well, as mentioned before, different people can behave differently depending on what their basic character is and what drives the behavior.
You're unlikely to notice ALL the signs that he's struggling with his feelings for you, but if a few really stand out, it's easier to piece them together.
So if he's struggling with his feelings for you, you'll probably notice...
1) There's something between you two
It could be that they are dating/“seeing each other” and he acts like it's a casual thing when in reality they both know there's more to it than that.
Or maybe they're just friends, but that's not saidfiery chemistryand a deeper connection between you.
As you know? Well, it's less about that.knowledgeand more about himFeeling.
After all, those feelings probably aren't one-sided when you can see there's something else going on.
He treats you differently than he treats other people... and you know it.
It's like you have this special bond, this other relationship. He has a crush on you and is usually like "dough in his hands".
He cares about your opinion and would do anything for you. That's when you know you guys are so much more than just friends.
2) There is more intensity
If he's struggling with his feelings for you but undeniably feeling stronger than he appears, you may feel heightened intensity, especially from the way he looks at you.
- Are you closing your eyes?
- He doeslook at you intensely?
- Do you share those little “moments” with each other?
- Are you growing closer, both physically and emotionally?
- And yet... is it something tacit?
That's because he can't put it into words. He doesn't want to believe it. But you will feel it. It's one of the biggest signs that he's struggling with his feelings for you.
3) You feel embarrassed or uncomfortable
Well, if you're not on the same level, another sign that he's struggling with his feelings for you is when he feels awkward, uncomfortable, or embarrassed in situations you don't think he should be.
So maybe they accidentally bump into each other. You can be left in a room together, just the two of you. Or maybe a strap on your dress is slipping.
It can be anything, even a small one, that stirs up some kind of emotion in him.
He then acts weird because he's not comfortable with his feelings. He's also embarrassed because he doesn't want you to click on how he feels.
4) He plays very well
If he's struggling with his feelings for you right now, chances are he's not just struggling on the outside, but on the inside as well.
He doesn't want to feel anything for you, no more than friends anyway.
As a result, you might find that he feels like he's putting on a show and not being himself. Maybe he's just trying to look cool when he's around you, isn't he?just chilllike you.
But it can often feel like you're trying too hard and overcompensating. It's not natural, it's not relaxed.
5) Get frustrated
If he struggles with his feelings for you, there will be times when he gets frustrated. I mean, it's not an ideal situation, is it?
He knows he likes you, he knows his feelings are building, and he doesn't want that to happen.
Most of the time, many things happen “behind closed doors”. You won't realize the internal struggle you're going through and the impact you're making.
But every now and then... he probably freaks out.
Maybe it's something you say, something you do. Perhaps he leaves in moments of jealousy. Or maybe when you feel the two of you getting closer physically, he suddenly pushes back.
But there are small signs or emotions to be aware of. It's the little moments that reveal what's really going on.
6) He distances himself from you
One of the biggest signs that he is struggling with his feelings for you right now is when he gets to the point where he can't even be around you.
He's doing what he can, but nothing seems to be working, so he pulls away from the "situation" to try and control it. He thinks he needs space and time to "get over you".
So maybe avoid group events you attend. Maybe I won't see you as often anymore. Or when they are together, he himself seems colder and more distant.
he retiresand it can be confusing. Which brings me to my next suggestion...
7) It blows cold and heat
Well, when a guy fights his feelings for you, he doesn't.Alwaysthis mess will be emotionally fueled.
Sometimes your feelings don't weigh as heavily on him and sometimes he might think about the possibility of the two of you getting together.
As a result, there are bound to be times when he shows, or even expresses, his feelings for you.
You will find that when he struggles with his feelings for you, he can often resort to it or back off again. It becomes this constant back and forth cycle.
You may feel unsure about where you really are, unsure of what to expect from one day to the next. It can be quite tiring or frustrating for you!
8) He's trying to impress you
Now this guy likes you, he doesn't want that, he's bothered by how his feelings are going, but he still has feelings for you.
Because of this, in most cases, you'll find that he can't help but try to impress you.
Perhaps he is leaning over or grooming himself. Maybe he's going the extra mile to get real close to you. Or maybe he's doing crazy, dangerous, or weird things to try and get you to notice him.
He will also tell you things he thinks will impress you, just add subtleties. And ask questions or find common ground with you so they can better connect and engage with you.
Look, men love to hunt (Scientists say so too!) - so even if he's fighting his feelings for you, his natural instinct is to try to make you want him. (Even if he thinks he can't have you!)
It's not a game as such. It is notplay with you...At least not on purpose.
Though you might consider the fact that if he hit you, maybe it wouldn't be so scary to like you. (This is especially true if hehe likes you but you are afraid of rejection.)
Thus, it creates options and makes you feel like you have more control.
12) He hates seeing you with other people
Another big sign that he is struggling with his feelings for you is when he HATES seeing you around other people.
A guy started talking to you at a bar? Enters "Big Brother" protection mode.
Are you starting to meet someone new? He has nothing good to say about her. You just try to leave them, catch bugs or constantly suspect them. (And try to keep that doubt in your head too!)
It's like he doesn't think anyone is good enough for you, but if he's completely honest, he just gets jealous and wants to be the person you're with.
The thing is, he won't want to admit it... Not if he's struggling with his feelings for you.
He also doesn't have "a leg to stand on". After all, they aren't together, so he can't say anything. But that doesn't mean you like it...
9) He still does nice things for you
Likewise, just because he's fighting his feelings for you doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.
He cares about you, he likes you as a person, he wants you to be happy, so of course he'll keep doing things to make you happy. These can be big and small gestures.
It could also be that he likes you, but only for one thing.certain degree.
So while it may be "relational" with you, it just doesn't FULLY let you in or take you to the next level of "official dating", much less.exclusive.
There's that wall of light, that thing that keeps you from going to the next level. If so, you might find...
10) He won't talk about his feelings
Another sign that he's struggling with his feelings for you is when he keeps things purposefully.surface level.
Avoid having conversations that you are not comfortable with or talking about the two of you, how you feel and where the relationship is going.
You see, if love and relationships scare him, he won't want to have those difficult conversations. As a coping mechanism, you might crack jokes or try to keep things lighthearted.
On the other hand, he might get irritated or overwhelmed by it all...
This isn't always fair or reasonable and can make you feel like you can't raise or speak up about certain issues. he will make you feelthey aredoing something wrong when you do that... But you don't.
The fact is, mastering it will turn you off even more, so if you see this starting to happen, give it a try.slow down the relationshipoTake it easyfrom the beginning to make it easy for you.
It will also give you both a better chance of going somewhere.
(If that's what you want, of course, and what you definitely think is right! After all, you want to find someone who wants the same things as you and is in the same place as you. So think about it. ... . )
11) Meet with other people
So maybe you feel like you're making progress with this guy. Things are going well and it's starting to go somewhere now.
However, if he fights his feelings for you, even if things go well, he might sabotage himself. He may run to someone else to try to forget you.
When you are not together and he is uncomfortable with your feelings, he may also date or talk to other people.
But most of the time it doesn't make sense and is an attempt to distract you...
You can also notice this by flirting with other people around you and testing their reaction.
- But are you unable to develop genuine feelings for other people?
- It keeps going from one person to another and you still know that there's still something between the two of you?
Although his behavior says otherwise, he may actually have deeper feelings than you think, especially if you recognize the other signs that he's struggling with his feelings for you.
13) He won't ask you out
Depending on the situation you're both in and the relationship you're already in, another sign that he's struggling with his feelings for you is if he doesn't ask you out.
maybe youI currently have a friend, or some kind of friendship relationship. Maybe they'll do something together. But he is reluctant to put a label on it or to do things directly related to a relationship.
In fact, it will probably remind you of the relationship you're in, to say the least. You might hear things like:
- "We are just friends…"
- "You are like a sister to me..."
- "You're a great friend, aren't you..."
This can be said completely without provocation, without needing to say it. Or it could happen that you slip up, have a "moment" and he tries to regain control.
The problem is, he's in denial. It's like, "Who are you kidding?"
Saying something doesn't mean it's true. Also, just because you haven't ticked something off doesn't mean it's over.
However, the most important question to ask in all of this is:
Do I deserve to be treated like this? Will I tolerate this? Wouldn't it be better to go ahead and find someone who appreciates me and is sincere?ready for a relationshipWith me?
14) He is trying to measure how you feel
What other behavior are you likely to encounter when he's struggling with his feelings for you? Well, he will probably ask a lot of questions and be particularly interested in the following:
- your love life
- how do you feel about the two of us
This will be especially the case when you start to give in to your feelings. You've been trying to fight them off, but they just won't seem to go away. However, remain cautious...
So, before committing or acting on something, he will try to assess where he is with you.
Therefore, it is important to make it easy for them by voluntarily providing them with this information, even if they do not ask for it.
Give that security, share thatwords of affirmation. And if that makes you nervous, remember that there are options.Subtly tell a guy you like him.
15) He stalks you on social media
What do you do when you like someone? Well, you can't stop thinking about that person! Especially if you are in the early stages of falling in love.
You can't seem to get enough of them either... So you'll probably spend more time scrolling through their social media posts and checking out their stories.
So when he fights his feelings for you, it's no different. After all, the feelings are still there whether he showed/told you or admitted it to himself.
Now, there are two different types of people on social media:
- The obvious.
- The silent pursuers.
You'll likely find that you're one of the first to see their posts and stories. If he's open, you'll notice.Alwaysgives you a “love” – react and comment.
You'll also enjoy opportunities to "swipe into your DMs" and create a conversation based on what you share.
On the other hand, it could be that no matter what you post (even if it's with the cutest puppy in the world!), he's always looking but never replying... no likes, no comments.
It's always there, but hidden and, I think, he thinks it's safer that way, he thinks you don't click anymore.
The problem is, he probably doesn't realize you're noticing these little things. It's easy to hide behind a screen, but online social media behavior can still say a lot.
What To Do When He's Fighting His Feelings For You
So we've covered the signs he's struggling with his feelings for you and why he might be. But what if you realize that's probably the case? Then:
1) Determine how you feel.
It's no use doing anything if your feelings aren't reciprocated. So you like him? Do you feel the same? And is there something stopping you here? If yes, what and why?
Likewise, figuring out how you feel isn't just important if you also like him romantically. You might also want to check:
- How do you feel about the way he treats you?
- He is well? It's fair. And is that what you really want or deserve?
- Is he acting like you would in his place?
- And what does that say about him as a person and where he is / what is he ready for if he behaves like this?
- Would it be worth continuing with this? Original?
They are all things to think about. Because "theoretically" there is the right person, but at the wrong time, and in those cases, walking away instead of chasing them would save a lot of time and anguish. So think about it...
2) Express how you feel.
If you have feelings for him and now realize that deep down he has feelings for you too, assuming it's okay to react to that, then be brave, come out.
You don't have to look as intense or as you arecoming very strong. just give up. Make it easy for him as we mentioned above.
In most cases, it's just what he and you need and takes things to the next level...
3) Talk to him.
If there's a lot going on below the surface, a lot left unsaid, and you want him to understand, talk to him about it. call him
You don't have to go to him with ALL the facts, like "this means this and that..."
But you can be direct, like, "Look, I know there's something going on between us..."
At the end of the day…
From there, you can't control how he behaves, and it's not your job to heal his emotional wounds so he can give himself completely to you.
You can promote it. And you certainly can do your best: be all that you can be.
But finally when he isI'm not ready for anything seriousand still runs away from his feelings for you afterward, so you have to make a decision about how long you're willing to wait. otherwise it can endyou waste your time.
Just remember: you deserve all the love in the world. And there are plenty of people out there who would be happy to give it to you if you'd let them.
Lots of luck! And remember: things always have a habit of going the way they should.
Look later.
Amar,
ell_xx