Whether he is a married man, a single man, a good friend, he is a man after all.
You can't escape nature's plan, and you definitely can't resist actually feeling those feelings no matter how hard you fight.
If you have feelings about this, he may just be struggling with his feelings for you.
Fighting feelings is feeling something specific and not wanting it to happen, so you fight it internally and force yourself not to feel it.
Therefore, fighting feelings for someone is not the best position.
There are valid reasons for such behavior, and they are not the best motivation either.
Despite the reasons, there are ways to tell whether or not he's fighting his feelings for you.
14 valid signs he's struggling with his feelings for you:
1. Appears interested but feels emotionally and romantically distant
You even feel inside that he has feelings for you.
However, there is something wrong with that. He seems to find ways to hide it.
–he protects you.It's in his genes and of course he does it automatically when he has feelings for you.
He will be protective when you need protection and when you are "helpless".
- He gets jealous.You can tell when this happens. It's those moments where his facial expression changes when he doesn't really like the idea of you mixing with another guy.
- Find excuses to talk to you.He will often do this when he's fighting his feelings for you.
if he has feelings for youhe will want to be in your presence, he will want to be close to you, he will hear your voice and look into your eyes.
Suddenly he couldn't find anyone in his group who knew the answer to the question "When is the next meeting?"
– He seems to invest in organizing meetings but not giving much emotionally. He actually feels the feelings. But he also struggles with feelings.
You will not feel any better or safer giving much emotionally as this is one of the pure expressions of "THE feelings". Surely you will be careful in this part!
2. You feel adored and ignored
When a man is struggling with his feelings for you (whether he's married or not), he's far from stable.
This will reflect a lot on how he behaves towards you, but also how he treats you.
– His behavior towards you changes quite often.It sends out these mixed signals.
He seems to adore you one second and ignore you the next.
The reason for such behavior could be that he "forgets" to act while fighting and hiding his feelings for you when he is in love with you and flattering you.
Once he's aware of what he's doing, he'll act cool again and find ways to ignore it (or appear to be doing it).
– Of course he admires you, but of course he doesn't give up completely.You won't be able to keep going all the time, of course, sometimes you'll forget.
You know he admires you, but it's also clear that he doesn't want to give in to that feeling.
3.He seems to love you, but he has no relationship with you.
He loves you, that's obvious. And when they already share some kind of connection, you're just not ready to put a label on it.
He might be afraidconfused about your feelingsWhatever the reason, the fact that he wants you is clear, it's just the relationship that's uncertain.
– This is his way of controlling the relationship and his feelings for you.If he has strong feelings and maybe is scared or overwhelmed by them, he will fight those feelings by not "involving" you as much.
At least for a whilea relationship is not on the table.
– They shared moments but he is clearly in denial about his feelings for you.Whatever the reason you fight your feelings, by fighting them, you will find ways to deny them, even in the moments when it is clear and obvious.
4. You explain what you want from the connection, he doesn't
You are clear about your intentions and see the context while he feels insecure and doesn't give an exact or clear answer.
– He cannot satisfy your “needs”, but he does not really let go of you.He knows exactly what he's feeling, the problem is that he's denying it and trying to fight it.
So he feels the need to be around you, but he's not exactly clear on where and what you're doing with the connection.
He may be scared of what he's feeling, so fighting those feelings seems like the only sensible thing to do (for him).
5. Close: do not open
Many men do this when their ego is hurt, threatened, or just doesn't feel right in some way.
In this case, it's like you put a spell on him and he's doing everything to convince himself that he's not under your command. You can't fault it.
You will find it difficult to open up.
– When men feel overwhelmed and threatened, they shut down.Yes, that's one thing.
You can ask your friends and they will tell me. When your ego is touched in any way it shuts down and it takes time to figure out what's going on.
You'll probably fight it until you realize that what you're feeling is inevitable.
6.His body language shows that he has feelings for you.
You can tell by the way he looks at you, smiles, or when he tilts his head when he hears you, when he looks into your lips and eyes.
His posture becomes more open and he points in your direction.
For example, their feet will point at you, their body will point at you, they will make eye contact, and they won't block you with other things.
He will also touch you more often and will not mind if you invade his personal space.
– He gives no verbal sign, he can even deny it.If you fight them from the inside, you will consciously not admit anything about it, you might even deny it.
Although there are hints and do not know. You're trying to hide something that could erupt at any moment, you won't be able to control it for long.
7. The chemistry is right, it's still coming out.
It's something you feel, something you can't always control and be aware of to keep it in check.
It's also about his behavior towards you: The chemistry between you two is right and it's very clear that you both feel it.
–he goes awaywhen things might get close.Of course he will.
Otherwise, your feelings would win and there would be room for the spark to ignite the connection and move on. Of course he will go away.
8. He seems very cautious and reserved around you.
If he struggles with his feelings for you, he will be careful with his words and actions towards you.
He will do anything to not let his feelings get the better of him, and he won't do what he would if he were open about his feelings for you.
- You can tell he's holding back.It's already obvious. You might also find his behavior strange, he can be confusing at times, and his interactions can be a bit awkward.
Maybe he's trying to avoid eye contact, or if he realizes you've gotten too close, he'll find ways to get back into that "cool" state.
9. He has a hard time saying no to you
Whatever your relationship/connection, or whatever the communication between you, if he has feelings for you, he will have a hard time saying no, even if he's trying to fight those feelings.
He can't say no to questions about things or a trip together.Remember earlier in the article I mentioned trying to overcome these feelings?
He wants to be close to you, he wants you, but he's fighting it. In that case, saying no would be a little threatening.
He will feel like he will push you away and withdraw from your presence if he says no or shows rejection in any way.
Things aren't going to work out for him, despite trying very hard to combat the obvious.
10. Your caring and sincerity are sincere but contradictory
He will care and be genuine as long as he has feelings for you, even if he fights against it.
Since for some reason you don't want to feel what you feel, caring and sincerity will be there, but inconsistently.
– Your care and affection are not obvious, on the contrary, they happen "in secret".He will do little things that he knows will make you happy.
He will pay attention to details and remember what makes you happy. He will do these things, but not so openly that you find out his little secret.
- Show small gestures of kindness, but not consistently.He is thoughtful, kind and caring, maybe even loving, but not always.
It would mean compromising and expressing feelings, which is exactly what you are striving for.
11. Asks personal questions
He wants to know where you are emotionally, so the questions will flow.
– He wants to know more about you.Of course, this will also flow into the conversation and the questions will fit in and complete your conversation.
– He does this out of pure curiosity, he is interested in you.Questions will flow out of sheer curiosity, not just bits and pieces to fill in the awkward silence.
Obviously he is unable to play this game. He's too innocent to see that. You will naturally and unconsciously ask questions.
12. He tells things about himself
"Oh, I'll do this/that too!" Or just general things that come with the conversation.
You say something or tell him something about yourself, and from person to person (with the attraction between them) he will also tell you things about himself.
– He will not share everything.Remember, he's fighting something inside, so he'll be careful about what he shares with you.
– He often does this unconsciously to impress you.Someone who has feelings will make them want you to feel them too.
Then you will do it without knowing that you are doing it.
He'll show you how awesome he is and what a great companion he would make...without even knowing he does! Nature really did what she wanted with us, didn't she?
13. He is cocky
As he fends off all the lava of dirty thoughts, happy thoughts, romantic thoughts for you, he will confidently try to cover them up.
– He can also get a bit arrogant.You're preoccupied with something in your wonderful mind and have no idea you might be overdoing it in the cover-up.
Having feelings for someone is a bit like being weak when it comes to them.
So, in order not to become weak, he tries his best to be confident, which sometimes gets out of hand and he suddenly becomes arrogant. Thank you Mother Nature!
14. He gets nervous around you
I know those last two characters contradict each other a bit. But I have a point!
You cannot control it, you will be nervous and try to fight it with confidence and sometimes arrogance.
– He justifies his behavior.Let's just say he said something he shouldn't have said. He will justify it if he has feelings for you and fights them.
– It could also justify the small kind and thoughtful gestures he makes around you.So he denies himself and you.
Signs he's fighting his feelings for you over texts
He will fight his true feelings personally, but he will also fight over text messages.
Now you know the signs in real life. Some of them also apply to SMS!
Here are 10 solid signs he's struggling with his feelings for you over text:
1. He is careful about what he writes.
2. Your text messages are not consistent.
3. You'll give a compliment here and there, but you won't be consistent with it.
4. He won't be rude to you or ignore your text messages for too long.
5. He will send you things that make you laugh.
6. Is respectful but does not reveal too much in conversation.
7. He takes the time to text.
8. Asks and answers questions.
9. He stops when the text conversation gets interesting.
10. You can come across as arrogant in your messages.
have in mind:
These signs should be considered if they show that you are also struggling with your feelings when you are together.
If not, then these could be signs of a totally platonic conversation with a man who has turned out to be friendly and respectful towards you.
What to do when he's fighting his feelings for you?
I know that urge you feel trying to get him to confess right now. "It's not that hard, dammit!" Well it's hard. It's not just about going with the flow.
Here's what you can do if he's struggling with his feelings for you:
1. “I have feelings of insecurity about you. Do you want to tell me what's going on?
A good and honest conversation can be a good start. If you've ever been in a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, it doesn't matter and you think you have been, one simple line will do the job:
"I have feelings of insecurity towards you. Do you want to tell me what's going on?
"Can we have a moment and talk?"
You begin by honestly expressing the insecurities you receive from him.
Noticing that you've noticed he behaves differently around you and so on. Be careful not to do this in a way that makes it look and feel like you're "attacking".
If you go offensive, he becomes defensive and you probably won't get an honest answer.
So proceed calmly and respectfully. You're trying to understand instead of winning the debate.
2. Simulate a safe space for him, a place where he can freely express his feelings and vulnerability.
He may see you as superior and consider himself inferior around you.
Because of this, becoming a safe haven for his vulnerabilities will eventually help him feel more secure about what he feels about you.
3. Don't overload it with information. Not to force.
If he seems unwilling to talk about it, don't press him. It's more likely to freak you out and make you fight your feelings even more than you already are.
Why is he fighting his feelings for me?
There's a reason you're holding back your feelings. It's more of an internal problem that you haven't solved yet, the situation you're in, or the social environment around you.
Let's see why he's fighting his feelings for you:
1. A defense mechanism.
If so, it is most likely due to not very pleasant experiences in the past that make you more closed and cautious now when expressing your feelings to people.
2. The need to be in control or to feel empowered.
His behavior makes you think, makes you question, maybe even your own worth.
This is a method many men use to feel in control and/or empowered, as they view expressing emotions as a form of weakness.
3. They are not open to being vulnerable.
Again, the idea of being vulnerable is terrifying for some men.
In our society we are taught that men have to be strong. Well, no one bothered to define "strong," so we now see vulnerability as a sign of weakness.
4.He's afraid of rejection.
Many men withdraw precisely because of fear of rejection. This is very common, especially in this day and age of love life.
The fear of rejection causes many men to project the thought, "She would never like someone like me," so they would try to fight those feelings and keep the situation "under control" and not be rejected.
5. He's not ready for a relationship.
Whether it's something that happened recently in your life or it hasn't been that long since you've been in a relationship, there are many reasons why you might not feel ready for a relationship.
Fighting his feelings seems to be the best option for him.
6. You are married or in a relationship with someone else.
You will fight these feelings to feel clean and not guilty about doing or feeling something at the wrong time and in the wrong situation, something you "shouldn't be doing".
7. You're dating someone else and they don't want to interfere.
Again a wrong time and a wrong situation. He will fight what he feels and likelyhe will try to hide his feelings.
What are the signs your ex is struggling with their feelings for you?
If he withdraws from you and his feelings for you, he will keep his cool and not try to get your attention, your presence will not affect him.
On the other hand, if he hasn't changed and is struggling with his feelings for you, your presence (or even the idea of your presence and opinions) will affect him.
It's hard to say for sure if they haven't seen each other. But there are some signs to look out for
1. He will act like he changed right away.
2. He will indirectly post on your social media how good he feels without you.
3. It will be very obvious if he takes it easy every time he sees you.
4. He gets tears in his eyes when he sees you.
5. Pretend you don't see yourself.
Regardless of whether the relationship ended well or not, these signs apply to both situations.
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