Whether he is a married man, a single man, a good friend, he is a man after all.
He can't escape from nature's plan, and he definitely can't help but feel these feelings for reality no matter how hard he fights against it.
If you have feelings about it, maybe he's just struggling with his feelings for you.
Fighting feelings is feeling something specific and not wanting it to happen, so you fight it internally and force yourself not to feel it.
Therefore, fighting feelings for someone is not the best position.
There are valid reasons for this behavior, and they aren't the best motivation either.
Despite the reasoning behind it, there are ways you can tell if he is fighting his feelings for you or not.
14 valid signs that he is struggling with his feelings for you:
1. Seems interested but feels emotionally and romantically distant
You even feel deep down that he has feelings for you.
However, there is something wrong with that. He seems to find ways to hide it.
–he protects you.It's in his genes and of course he does it automatically when he has feelings for you.
He will be protective when you need protection and when you are "defenseless".
- He gets jealous.You can tell when it does. It's those moments when his facial expression changes when he doesn't really like the idea of you mixing with another guy.
– Find excuses to talk to you.He will often do this when he is fighting his feelings for you.
when he feels something for youhe wants to be in your presence, he wants to be close to you, hear your voice and look into your eyes.
Suddenly, you couldn't find anyone in your group who knew the answer to the question "When is the next meeting?"
– Seems to invest in organizing meetings but not give much emotionally. He really feels the feelings. But he also fights against feelings.
You will not feel any better or safer to give too emotionally as that is one of the pure expressions of "THE feelings". You will surely be careful with this part!
2. You feel adored and ignored
When a man is struggling with his feelings for you (whether he is married or not), he will be anything but stable.
This will reflect a lot on how he behaves around you, but also on how he treats you.
– His behavior towards you changes quite often.It's sending these mixed signals.
He seems to adore you one second and ignore you the next.
The reason for this behavior could be that he "forgets" to behave while fighting and hides his feelings for you when he adores and praises you.
Once he's aware of what he's doing, he calms down by finding ways to ignore it (or pretend to).
– Of course he admires you, but he doesn't give up entirely either.You won't be able to hold on all the time, of course you will forget it sometimes.
You know he admires you, but it's also clear that he doesn't want to give in to that feeling.
3.Seems to like you but not a relationship with you
He loves you, that's obvious. And when they already share some kind of connection, he just isn't ready to "put a label on it."
he could be afraidconfused about your feelingsBesides, whatever the reason, the fact that he loves you is clear, it's only the relationship that's uncertain.
– This is his way of controlling the relationship and his feelings for you.If he has strong feelings and may feel scared or overwhelmed by them, he will fight those feelings by not getting too involved with you.
at least for a whilea relationship is not on the table.
– They shared moments but he clearly denies his feelings for you.For whatever reason, he fights his feelings, when he fights them, he finds ways to deny them, even in the moments when it's clear and obvious.
4. You explain what you want from the connection, he doesn't
You are clear about your intentions and you see the context while he feels insecure and does not give you an exact or clear answer.
- You can't get your "needs" met, but you don't really give up.He knows exactly what he feels, the problem is that he denies it and tries to fight it.
Then he feels the need to be close to you, but he does not know exactly where and what you are doing with the connection.
He may be afraid of what he feels, so fighting those feelings seems like the only sensible thing to do (for him).
5. Close: do not open
Many men do this when their ego is hurt, threatened, or they just don't feel right.
In this case, it's like he's been put under a spell, and he's doing everything he can to convince himself that he's not under the spell. You can not complain.
It will be hard for you to open up.
– When men are oppressed and threatened, they shut down.Yes, that's one thing.
You can ask your male friends and they will tell me. When your ego is touched in any way, it shuts down and takes time to realize what's going on.
You will most likely fight it until you realize that what you are feeling is inevitable.
6.His body language shows that he has feelings for you.
You can tell by the way he looks at you, by the way he smiles, by the way he tilts his head when he listens to you, by the way he looks at your lips and eyes.
His posture will be more open and directed towards you.
For example, his feet point toward you, his body moves toward you, he makes eye contact, and he won't “block” you with other things.
He'll also touch you more often and won't mind you invading his personal space.
– Does not give a verbal signal, may even deny it.If you fight it from the inside, you will not consciously admit anything about it, you may even deny it.
Although he gives clues and does not know it. He is trying to hide something that could break out at any moment, he will not be able to control it for a long time.
7. The chemistry is there, it still withdraws
It's something you feel, something you can't always control and be conscious of keeping in check.
It's also about his behavior towards you: the chemistry between the two of you is just right and it shows.
–he's leavingwhen things could get closer.Of course he will.
Otherwise, your feelings would win out and there would be room for the spark to ignite and the connection to continue. Of course she will go.
8. He seems very guarded and reserved around you.
If he struggles with his feelings for you, he will be careful with his words and actions towards you.
He will do anything not to let you talk him into his feelings and he won't do what he would if he were open about his feelings for you.
- You can tell he's holding back.It's already obvious. You may also find his behavior strange, he can get confused at times, and your interactions can be a bit awkward.
Perhaps he tries to avoid eye contact, or once he sees that the two of you are very close, he will find ways to return to that "cold" state.
9. It's hard for him to say no to you
Whatever your relationship/connection or level of communication between you, if he has feelings for you, he will have a hard time saying no, even if he tries to fight those feelings.
You ask him for things or a place to go together, he can't say no.Remember earlier in the article I mentioned trying to get over these feelings?
He wants to be close to you, he loves you, but he's fighting it. In that case, telling you no would be a bit threatening to him.
He will feel that if he tells you no or shows rejection in any way, he will push you away and distance himself from your presence.
Things aren't going to work out for him, even though he's really trying to fight the obvious.
10. Your affection and sincerity are sincere but contradictory
He will care and be genuine as long as he has feelings for you, even if he fights against it.
Since for some reason you don't want to feel what you feel, the care and authenticity will be there, but inconsistently.
- His care and affection are not evident but "secrets".He will do little things that he knows will make you happy.
You will pay attention to details and remember what makes you happy. He will do these things, but not so openly that you find out his little secret.
– Show small gestures of kindness, but not consistently.He is considerate, kind and affectionate, maybe even loving, but not always.
That would mean commitment and excitement, and that's what he's fighting against.
11. Asks personal questions
He wants to know where you are emotionally, so that the questions flow.
– He wants to know more about you.Again, it will flow naturally into the conversation and the questions will be perfectly appropriate and complete your conversation.
– He does it out of pure curiosity, he is interested in you.Questions will flow out of pure curiosity, not just snippets to fill the awkward silence.
He is obviously incapable of playing this game. He's too innocent to see that. He will ask questions naturally and unconsciously.
12. He tells you things about himself
"Oh, I do this/that too!" Or just general things that come up with the conversation.
You tell him something or you tell him something about yourself, and from person to person (with the attraction between them) he will also tell you things about himself.
– He will not share everything.Remember, he's fighting something inside, so he's going to be careful what he shares with you.
– He usually does this unconsciously to impress you.If he has feelings, he wants you to have feelings too.
So you will do it without knowing that you are doing it.
He'll show you how awesome he is and what a great companion he would be... without even knowing he is! Nature really did what it wanted with us, didn't it?
13. He is very confident
While he rejects all the lava of dirty thoughts, happy thoughts, romantic thoughts for you, he will try to cover them up with confidence.
– He can also become a bit arrogant.He's preoccupied with something on his beautiful mind and has no idea he might go overboard with the cover-up.
Having feelings for someone is a bit like being weak when it comes to them.
To prevent him from becoming weak, he tries his best to be confident, which sometimes gets out of control and he suddenly becomes arrogant. Thank you mother nature!
14. He gets nervous around you.
I know those last two characters contradict each other a bit. But I have a point!
He cannot control it, he gets nervous and tries to fight it with confidence and sometimes arrogance.
– Justify his behavior towards you.Let's say he said something he shouldn't have said. She will justify it if she has feelings for you and fights them.
– It can also justify the small kind and thoughtful gestures he makes towards you.In this way he denies himself and you.
Signs He's Fighting His Feelings For You Over Text
He'll fight his true feelings in person, but he'll also do the same over text.
Now you know the signs in real life. Some of them also apply to SMS!
Here are 10 solid signs that he is struggling with his feelings for you through text messages:
1. He's careful what he texts you.
2. Your text messages are not consistent.
3. Will give compliments here and there, but won't be consistent about it.
4. He won't be rude to you or ignore your messages for long.
5. He will send you things that will make you laugh.
6. He is respectful but doesn't reveal much about himself in conversation.
7. He takes the time to text.
8. Asks and answers questions.
9. He pulls out when the text conversation gets interesting.
10. You can come off as arrogant in your lyrics.
keep in mind:
These signs should be taken into account if you are showing that you are struggling with your feelings when you are also dating.
If not, these could be signs of a totally platonic conversation with a man who turned out to be nice and respectful to you.
What to do when he is fighting his feelings for you?
I know that impulse you get when you just want me to confess right away. "It's not that hard, dammit!" Well, it's hard. It's not just about electricity.
Here's what you can do if he's struggling with his feelings for you:
1. “I am insecure about you. Do you want to tell me what's going on?
A good and honest conversation can be a good start. If you've been in a relationship, romantic or platonic, it doesn't matter, and you think that applies to you, then a simple line will suffice:
"I have feelings of insecurity about you. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"
"Can we have a moment and talk?"
You start by honestly expressing the insecurity you receive from him.
Realizing that you have noticed that he behaves differently around you and so on. Be careful not to do it in a way that might seem like a "fit".
If you become offensive, he will become defensive and you will most likely not get an honest answer.
So proceed calmly and respectfully. You are trying to understand instead of winning the debate.
2. It feels like a safe place for him, a place where he can freely express his feelings and vulnerability.
He may see you as superior and consider himself inferior to those around you.
Because of this, creating a safe space for his vulnerabilities will ultimately help him feel more secure about how he feels about you.
3. Don't overwhelm him with information, don't pressure him.
If he doesn't seem ready to talk about it, don't push him. He's more likely to scare you and make you fight your feelings for him even more than he already is.
Why is he fighting his feelings for me?
There's a reason you're holding back your feelings. It's more of an internal problem that you haven't resolved yet, the situation you find yourself in, or the social environment around you.
Let's see why he is fighting his feelings for you:
1. A defense mechanism.
If so, it is most likely due to not very pleasant past experiences that are now causing you to be more closed and cautious when it comes to expressing your feelings to people.
2. You need to be in control or feel empowered.
His behavior makes you wonder, makes you question, maybe even your own worth.
This is a method that many men use to feel in control and/or empowered, since they see the expression of emotions as a form of weakness.
3. You are not open to being vulnerable.
Again, the idea of being vulnerable is terrifying to some men.
In our society we are taught that men have to be strong. Well, nobody hesitated to define "strong", so now we see vulnerability as a sign of weakness.
4.He is afraid of rejection.
Many men hold back precisely because of fear of rejection. This is very common, especially at this time of love life.
The fear of rejection causes many men to project the thought “she would never like someone like me”, so she would try to fight those feelings and keep the situation “under control” and not be rejected.
5. He is not ready for a relationship.
Whether it's something that happened recently in your life or it hasn't been that long since you were last in a relationship, there are many reasons why someone doesn't feel ready for a relationship.
For him, the best option seems to be to fight his feelings.
6. You are married or in a relationship with someone else.
You will fight these feelings to feel clean and not guilty for doing or feeling something at the wrong time and in the wrong situation, something you "shouldn't be doing."
7. You're seeing someone else and they don't want to interfere.
Again a wrong time and a wrong situation. He will fight what he feels and probablyhe will try to hide his feelings.
What are the signs that your ex is struggling with his feelings for you?
If he walks away from you and his feelings for you, he'll be nice and won't try to get your attention, your presence won't affect him.
On the other hand, if he hasn't moved on and is struggling with his feelings for you, your presence (or even the thought of your presence and opinions) will affect him.
It's hard to say for sure if you haven't seen each other. But there are some signs to watch out for
1. He will immediately pretend to change.
2. He will indirectly post on your social networks and tell you how much fun he has without you.
3. It will be very obvious if he pretends to be nice when he sees you.
4. He has teary eyes when he sees you.
5. Pretend not to see you.
Regardless of whether the relationship ended well or not, these signs apply to both situations.
Was it helpful?
15 Signs He's Confused About His Feelings For You. Should you help him decide?
11 Signs You Have Strong Emotions: Are You Afraid Of Them?
Does my boyfriend have feelings for me? 11 Obvious Signs Your FWB Is Picking Up Emotions
Signs You're Wrong: The Basics You Should Know